Today I filled out supplementary information for my SSDI form. Now, if you’ve never applied for SSDI, be grateful. It’s a lot like filing your taxes. Using the LONG form. With nothing to help you but a #2 pencil and a shoe box full of receipts.
I think the worst thing about filling out these forms is that you have to sit down and focus on your disability. You have to wallow in descriptions of things you can’t do anymore and be reminded of how you didn’t appreciate your capabilities at the time. There are days when I feel like I must have a sign attached to my back reading “I AM CFIDS.”
I know it’s not true. I am not my illness. And I refuse to be identified by my illness. I am so much more! But sometimes I need to remind myself that my illness is not the most important thing in my life. I am so blessed to have a supportive partner and family, a puppy who loves me unconditionally, a roof over my head, clothes on my back, and health insurance! I do not take any of it for granted and I am supremely grateful for all the blessings!
But sometimes, the illness weighs me down. And I need a distraction. For me, that means fiber… cloth, yarn, thread, patterns, colors, textures… When I am surrounded by these things, I am happier, more content.
This is my own private heaven:
This is where all the creativity begins! It may be finished on the couch in the living room, in the car, or in the dumpster, but this is where it starts. Today I am working on a pincushion as a gift for a friend. I found the tutorial online here:
Isn’t it adorable? I’m doing it in her favorite colors and will post pictures when I’m done. I find that keeping my fingers busy on days when I’m feeling blue really helps to distract me. PLUS, I get to play with fabric! This is a really easy project that just LOOKS complicated. And you need hardly any supplies, just some scrap fabric, needle and thread, a couple of buttons, and some stuffing.
So let’s go create something!