In the making…

Sometimes, it seems there isn’t much progress. You look around and there are no new creations to show. Nothing complete. Everything in a shambles.

But wait! Over there is a partially finished amigurumi. All it needs are its legs and its face. And see that on the coffee table? That’s the bridal headpiece that was commissioned. You have two ribbon daisies done and three to go. That bag at your feet? It’s the baby gift for your niece who is due in November.

Wander into the sewing room… two shirts completely cut out – one for the wedding. Oh, and while you were cutting out last Saturday, you also cut out a blouse and a skirt and serged the edges of the blouse pieces. That should go together pretty quickly (except the button holes). Oh, and on the counter – there’s your wedding bouquet. All it needs are ribbons. And that box? That contains the favors for the wedding that you finished while watching TV.

No, I have nothing to show for the week. Nothing is finished. Everything is in shambles. But… progress was made!

Sometimes life is like that, too. Sometimes it’s hard to see any forward momentum. Especially with a chronic illness.

No, I’m not healthy. I’m not 100%, but I’m better than I was a month ago. I am making progress.

I know that I may slip back into feeling really lousy, that I may get sicker, but right now I’m a little bit better. Every bit of progress is good progress. And just because the project isn’t finished doesn’t mean we’re not creating beauty, health, joy.

Let’s go create something!

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Lullaby and good night

Our niece is expecting and that means we are too! The moment I heard about the joyful event, I started a baby gift. “Piece of cake”, I thought. “Knock that out in no time”, I said.

That was back in April.

Fast forward to July. On Ravelry (you don’t know about Ravelry???) I listed a set of crafty goals for July. One of them was to get the baby gift to the halfway point. All of the other goals have been completed, but I’ve been uninspired by the baby gift. Until this week.

Unfortunately, my health is not fantastic. The good spell I was having has dwindled. I’m not horribly sick, but I’m really tired and easily confused (who are you, again?) and grateful that I can spend so much time resting at home.

Fortunately, the aforementioned baby gift is rather mindless crocheting and I can just hook along while I watch TV. So, progress is being made! I still hope to have it halfway done by the end of the month. We don’t know if it’s a boy or girl, so I chose a bright primary color. It’s very cheerful and should be very warm for the winter. The crocheting is done in a waffle pattern that makes the finished project feel twice as thick as normal crochet. Here’s a link to the stitch so you can see what I mean.

If you’re fairly new to crochet, don’t worry! It’s easier than it looks. And, if you’re really ambitious, it would make a terrific afghan for cuddling on the couch. Or, like me, maybe there’s a wee one in your life that needs some warmth this winter. Dig through that yarn stash, find a crochet hook, and…

Let’s go create something!

Oops…

Well, I think I overdid. I’m back to being fatigued, sore throat, upset stomach… But I had fun while the good times lasted! Maybe if I rest up this weekend, I will improve again.

In the meantime, it’s COUPON WEEK at the fabric store! We spent an hour getting fabric for two more shirts (one is for the wedding!), the ribbon for our table decor at the reception, and some fabric and lace for me to make pretty underthings for the wedding. For those who know Greg and me, it will come as no surprise to hear that everything is PURPLE! I’ll try to get pictures of the fabric posted soon so you can all see.

And here they are! This is the fabric Greg chose for his wedding shirt:

He also chose fabric for another shirt!

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He’s got great taste!

I also finished the gift for a friend! Yep, it just needs blocking and it will be done. I’ll post pictures as soon as she receives it. I hope to send it on its way early next week.

I have a weekend of sewing planned! More gifts, some wedding veils on commission, and a slipcover for the footstool (the dog ate the last one).

Must remember… sew a little, rest a little, sew a little, rest a little…

Let’s go create something!

Busy, busy!

Wow! What a week it has been!

First off, I still feel good! Oh sure, I’m tired, but not dizzy or sick to my stomach, so I feel much better! I hope this lasts a long time.

I felt so good that we went travelling for the weekend, and while we were away, my sweetheart proposed! Now I haz a fiance! We camped and shopped and ate too much and generally enjoyed ourselves. And I did no crafting whatsoever!

But at home I have been busy! I’m work on a top secret project for a friend, so I can’t post pictures of it yet. But, be assured, when the job is done and the gift presented, I will be posting pics! More tatting and some sewing this time (two different projects) so stay tuned!

I also received a call today from a store that buys my bridal headpieces. She’s running low and has placed an order with me for more! Off to dig through my bridal box and see what needs finishing before I bring them to her. And the added income will be terrific since I now have a wedding to pay for! SQUEE!

Let’s go create something!!

Yowzah!

Boy, when the good days come, don’t they feel fantastic! I woke up on the Fourth of July feeling rested for the first time in weeks! Poor Greg had to work all day, so I decided to use my energy to surprise him. He’s been waiting for two years for me to finish this shirt!

It was all cut out and everything was ready, so all I had to do was sew. I got up and ate some breakfast and went straight to the sewing room. After about an hour of sewing, I took a break. I was starting to feel a little tired and I really wanted to finish, so I wisely stopped and rested. After half an hour or so, I felt rested again so I headed back to finish it. I did the whole shirt (except the buttons) in about two hours. I was so pleased! It’s the first time I have been able to spend that much time at the sewing machine in months!

After lunch, I rested on the couch, watched some TV, and sewed on the buttons. A finished shirt before Greg came home from work! It felt soooo good!

This week is much improved over last week. I was even able to attend a theatre function last night and stay for several hours. Today I rest up to face the next week… TV is ready to go, I have a new tatting project lined up, and I slept great!

The plan for the week is to listen to my body, rest as needed, and ride the good feelings as long as possible!

Let’s go create something!

Picking up the pieces…

It’s amazing. Nothing has really changed, but I feel so much better since I realized that my anger was really grief. Now that I can name it, I can tame it!

I’ve had a couple of good days – a little more energy than usual, so I’ve been catching up on my errands… car registration, the bank, groceries, etc. That doesn’t leave a lot of time for creating, but I always squeeze a few minutes out of the day. Nothing spectacular going on, but I did finish hemming my brother-in-law’s suit pants. That’s a “have-to” job done, making the way for the “want-to” projects. I am actually DONE with my “have-to’s” and it feels so good! What shall I work on next? My sweetheart’s shirts? My quilt? More tatting? The baby blanket? Oh, and I need to find a portable project for our trip up the coast next week.

I need a trip to my crafting room! Meet me there? You bring the cookies and I’ll make a pot of coffee.

Let’s go create something!!!

Grief and sorrow

I have finally recognized what is going on.

I am in mourning. I grieve for the Cindy-who-was and the life I once led. I am trying to come to grips with the idea that THAT life may be over. Of course I must mourn it before I can begin a new life! Why should I expect myself to be the same person or even a NEW person overnight?

I am angry, grief-filled, intolerant, oh and did I mention angry? I must remember that at the end of this road is acceptance and understanding. And there will be joy again. Just not right this second. I have traveled this road of grief before. I will no doubt travel it again. It is a hard road, but one I can survive.

My name is Cindy and I have CFIDS. And it sucks. Someday, there may be a cure. Or it may spontaneously go away. But, for now, I must recognize that I am not who I was and I cannot expect myself to live up to that person’s standards or expectations.

I must redefine “normal” in this new way of life. Most days I make it to the office, if only for a few hours, and I can still do my own laundry and make my own meals. These are not small things and I will NOT take them for granted! I still have my laptop (thank Heavens!) and my handwork, even if it’s just hemming a pair of pants.

Mourning does not cancel out gratitude. And having gratitude does not mean that I shouldn’t mourn. I SHOULD grieve. I have had a loss. And that’s OK. And when I am done grieving (or at least when it hurts a little less), I will start a new adventure.

Let’s go create something!